Many parents find it difficult to know if their child’s problems are really significant, or if they should seek help. It is especially hard if children are embarrassed when their problems become the focus of attention, and if they try to avoid any help that is offered. Embarrassment and avoidance of help often increase with age, so it is advisable to try to decide if help is needed as soon as possible.
I suggest that parents ask themselves the following questions to help them decide if their child would benefit from extra help, including Occupational Therapy.
- How does your child’s level of skills compare with that of other children of the same age? To answer this question, compare him/her with several children, not just one or two. As well, ask teacher, friends and relatives what they think. As a parent myself, I know it is almost impossible to be objective about one’s own children.
- Does your child have difficulty with just one or two skills or with several skills? Of course, problems are more significant if they are widespread than if they just occur with one or two skills. Also, ask yourself whether the skills are important or relatively trivial. Most of use can live happily without being able to play chess, but we would have trouble if we couldn’t tie our shoelaces or write.
- How successful have your attempts been to help him/her with his/her skills? Most parents try to help their children when they have difficulties with skills. If they continue to have difficulty despite your help, they may need help from someone else.
- Is your child developing many secondary effects as a result of his/her difficulties? These may include diminished self-confidence, feeling they are “dumb”, and trying to avoid difficult tasks by withdrawing or misbehaving.
Information about some typical developmental milestones can be found at the Child Development Institute.
It is important that parents and children do not feel that there is some sort of stigma attached to asking for help, or that needing help is proof that they are “dumb”. None of us is good at everything. If a child’s difficulties are preventing him/her from reaching his/her potential, then it may be worth seeking help.